HELP ME TOM CRUISE!

Admittedly the only thing I know about Talladaga nights is the myriad of clips from the previews. I do recall lead character Ricky Bobby running around a racetrack in his underwear and race helmet saying "Help me Jesus, help me Jewish guys, help me Tom Cruise!" I thought that bit was very funny.

As it turns out, it is also very ironic.

Scientology has officially announced that Tom Cruise is their personal Jesus Christ (click the title for the link). If there ever were a doubt in my mind of the destiny of Scientologists then this definitely affirms their future eternity... No amount of electro shock therapy is going to change that.

Race-Based Purity

This group is exclusively for our race. You are told not to apply if your skin color is not correct. We will actively work to prevent the "wrong types" from coming into our club.

Sounds like a bunch of white racist republicans, doesn't it? Did David Duke say this? It's actually the Congressional Black Cauccus. They told the Democrat

What really gets me is how amazingly shallow their definition of black is. Harold Ford Jr. is a small percentage black but he was permitted in the group. In a continuation of the revulsion I have of this group's exclusions and ideology: I wonder if you have to pass the pencil test to get in?

If you don't know what the pencil test is: it involves the ability of curly hair to hold a pencil. At some point in black history there was a test where a pencil was used to determine if your hair was too curly (held the pencil) to let you in. Hint: if it stayed in you didn't get in.

Happiness Expectations

The link in the title takes you to an article where a French Buddhist is the happiest man in the world. Ahem: French-Buddhist, nuff said?

Permit me to help you be more happy. I'll illustrate my point:

You are at Outback Steakhouse and the hostess says your wait will be 25 minutes. You glance at your watch and take the buzzer. How happy would you be if:

If you are seated in 5 minutes.
If you are seated in 25 minutes.
If you are seated in 45 minutes.

File those responses for me and read on.

Either way you have waited and are inconvenienced for time that you can never recover. However you choose to spend this time for the steak or fried onion or whatever floats your epicurial boat. No matter how long it takes you ultimately get what you were looking for assuming the servers skills and food prep was par.

The only difference is your perceived inconvenience or surprise bonus. If you are seated in 5 minutes you are thrilled with the luck and have a good feeling. If you wait an extra 20 minutes you might feel slighted or angry.

The life lesson is to have a reasonable expectation of everything. Expect the server to not really know how long it will take to seat you. Expect others to not be perfect all the time. I do not advocate being a slug and never pushing yourself or those around you. However if you set the expectation of perfection you will rarely find it here in this world.

Of course ignorance is also bliss as that is a form of lower expectations.

Indictment: Iraqi Scandal

Reuters article linked in title

Actually, it's Kofi's Brother-in-law who is indicted in the scandal. Of course Kofi knew nothing about his subordinate-brother-in-law's-lucrative-illegal-activities dealing with a country under UN Sanctions and a UN program for humanatarian aid. The humanatarian aid that mainly consisted of rotten food being sold moved to Iraq?

Nah, Kofi is a liberal's saint.

Senate's Red Tape Gag

What is the priority of the Democratic majority Senate? Is it...

Iraq?
Environment?
Taxes?
Spending?

ALL THOSE ARE WRONG??? "NO WAY" You say? Give up?

Senate bill 1: (paraphrased)
"Any grassroots organization's communication regarding a legislative topic directly to a legislative member or to an individual whereby an individual then contacts a legislative member regarding that topic becomes subject to spending tracking"...

Translation:
It's an interesting monitoring of grass roots organizations and their spending. That is, the wording says that every INDIVIDUAL expense incurred on behalf of every INDIVIDUAL topic must be documented and is subject to federal review or penalties of $100,000. If you are against guns as a grassroots then you would have to track every individual expense and donation for the individual causes of concealed carry, assault rifles, gun safety...etc on separate ledgers for each individual topic. Some grassroots efforts are spread among 10 or more topics at any given moment.

IF a grassroots group sends you an email that makes you stand up and call your representative then that group is subject to intense scrutiny. If you are say, big labor or a corporate entity you are exempt from these invasive rules.

THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN! I have total faith that it will not last 5 minutes in front of an intelligent court.

I wish I could say I'm surprised, but remember I did say "Congrats and Hang On!"

Ellison's Misconception

"It was good, we did it, it's over, and now it's time to get down to business," Keith Ellison said after he was sworn in using a Quoran with lots of very impressive provenance.

I have some reasonable and logical questions to ask:

If newly sworn in Keith Ellison really wanted to focus on the issues that are important why did he make a big deal out of insisting to use a Quoran instead of the Bible?

Has Mr. Ellison actually read the Quoran?

Does Mr. Ellison genuinely believe that the founding fathers would have approved of using the text that asserts its believers kill Christians that refuse to convert?

I would submit to Mr. Ellison that his misconception is that this is over. No, it isn't, sir. You have chosen to start something that will definitely overshadow anything accomplish from now on. Think of it as the asterik beside the baseball record of Mark McGuire.

Know this too Mr. Ellison: the true believers of Islam are not the ones who call it a religion of tolerance and peace. The true Muslims are those who commit acts with no regard for their own safety.