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Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Professor Harold Hill and there is a link in the title you should see.

Folks we've got a problem right here in River City. It's brewing under your nose and you don't even know it. Your know the harmful elements our beloved children are exposed to every day: foul language, gangs, sex, violence, narcotic use, but you haven't seen this new fringe element creeping in.

"What could that be?" You ask? Well let me tell you: look for some indicators that they have been exposed to this menace of society. Where are your children on Sundays? Do they dress nicely and disappear from the home early in the morning? Do they use words like "forgiveness" and "redemption" and "grace"? Is ten percent of their money disappearing without any trace? Are they carrying around a book they refer to as the Word?

Then if so your children have been exposed. Exposed I tell you! Exposed to a madman and his wiles who goes by the name of --- Jesus Christ! Jesus who defied authorities and hung out with the prostitutes! They claim he died but arose again!

They call their message the Good News. I say it's good news that the Motion Picture Association of America has equated Christian messages with those of sex, violence and foul language! The MPAA only stopped short from going full R because that warmongering faux President is one of "them" (Christians)!

Protect your children! You don't want those intolerant Christians running around the cinemaplex and getting in the way of the proper indoctrination of our youth!

Hope you enjoyed that, my tongue was firmly implanted in my cheek while typing.