The Roberts Chronicles: a Satire

Justice Nominee John Roberts has some serious questions to answer to:

Did you really help an old lady across the street who then defrauded medicare by getting duplicate perscriptions when you were a Boy Scout?

Is it true you like to eat dead animal flesh? Baby cows?

Did you or did you not own the motor vheicle that killed a butterfly in 1972?

Will you disavow any guilt in connection with all the homosexuals, murderers and other freaks you have had professional contact with?

What abortion clinics have you bombed?

Do you agree with the concept of the World Court and that they should have power over American citizens?

Did you fly in an SR-71 blackhawk to Iran to negotiate regarding their nuclear weapons capability?

Did you in fact frame a legal opinion in the manner requested by your employer as a legal aide while working for the Fascist Evil Reagan adminstration?

Exactly how many trees have you personally been responsible for killing while creating your volumes of legal opinion? Have you replaced any of them?

Did you at any time shake hands with Ollie North during your time in the Reagan adminstration thus facilitating the Arms-for-Hostages process?

Do you have a set of tights with the letter "S" on under your shirt?

Sarcasm is so much fun and Liberals make it so easy!!!